Stop complaining...part II

...beat the routine!

"I have everything. My own house, two cars, a loving wife, and a smart daughter, but still I feel empty inside," Mike told me.

"Why do you feel this way?" I asked.

"No clue, basically, nothing makes me happy. It hard for me to get up in the morning, and when I finally do, then I'm not in the mood to do anything." He was really gloomy,

'Tough one,' I thought. Mike and his wife were in their thirties. Their daughter was around eight years old. This fellow got lost. "I burned out," he told me during one of our meetings.

"What crazy thing did you do recently?" I was looking for a source of his problem.

"Crazy? Nothing crazy. There's no time for fun. Only work, work, work..." he said with reproach.

"Okay, I got it. You just give your life to routine," I stated.

"I'm just saying that there's no time for fun and entertainment.

"That's not true. You don't manage your time well, or you put a high value on the wrong things. Likely you take too much on your shoulders, the things you're not able to carry out."

"But if not me, then who will do all of that?"

"Don't you think you need more modesty? A modest man is aware of his limitations. He respects these limitations, and then he can be happy. Only if you're happy, you can make others happy. Also there are no indispensable people. The world won't end without you. It will continue to exist."

Routine is terrible, because of it we easily lose our joy, and we don't appreciate what we have. And we have a lot.

How to cope with routine?

Let your heart to have some fun. Don't enclose it in four walls. Take up challenges.

"But you won't pay my loan. You won't take care of my yard. And you won't raise my daughter for me," Mike tried to defend himself.

"Of course not. It's your business. But the question is: What are you doing to change your situation?" We, humans, have an interesting and positive quality, we want to be consistent. Sometimes it may become our gripe.

What do I mean? Usually, if we say something, we want to do everything to confirm that what we said is true. Example:

Your wife asks you a tricky question: 'Do you like watching action movies?' You say: 'Yes, I do.' She got you. Now it will be very hard for you to get out of going with her to the cinema, though you know her main goal is to end up eating supper in the restaurant drinking expensive wine. 

So we want to be consistent. But is it always good? If you see that something is wrong in your life, that your manly heart stops beating, that relations with your wife and children are not like they should be -- you must change something. Even though these changes might be radical.

These changes will boost you with energy, so don't be afraid of them! Try to be flexible. Life sometimes is like a business. Only companies which know how to adjust to swiftly changing conditions will survive on the market.

The same with us. We don't live anymore in times when one worked his whole life for one company, had a flat, and time flew by.

The fact is that times have changed. The more unyielding we become, the more we oppose it, the more we suffer.

Setting new goals in our life will help us regain our joy. Having rest and doing what you enjoy isn't selfish. It's a proper reaction to your needs. If you can satisfy your needs, then you'll be able to satisfy others' needs. If you're unhappy, then you will hurt your loved ones sooner or later.

A man must be brave and decisive. He must make decisions, sometimes they'll be risky, but they'll give him joy and the will to live. Look at Adam, the one from Eden. God gave him a brave heart, and never told him to sit in one place, arranging a comfy flat in Eden. Adam had to conquer, and develop new lands of the Earth. He had to live his adventure together with his wife. If he'd done that, he'd never feel empty.

If you're burned out, change something quickly. Think what will help you. Think about yourself, but don't be selfish. Remember to take your family along on your journey.