Eve's wound [II]
The pursuit of independence
How would you describe today’s woman? I’d call her “a fighting woman”. Above all she fights for her independence, equality, and position. This fight is bloody, deprives of energy and joy, and creates fears for the future.
“Why do you want to be independent?” I asked Megan.
“Why?!” She looked at me. “I don’t need anyone telling me what I can or cannot do. I want to be happy,” she said firmly.
This is where the problem lies. We often confuse happiness with independence. Honestly, these two things have little or nothing in common. If independence can really grant you something, it’s only a small measure of freedom. But that’s not about happiness. Happiness comes from inside and is not endangered by outer occurrences. Happiness may accompany us when we feel loved, accepted, and when we maintain good relationships with others.
The problem with independence started at the dawn of civilization. Let’s take our minds back to Eden. This is where the first act of independence took place. A woman takes control. She talks to a stranger and makes a decision without consultation with her husband. This is followed by a stream of misery. No, I don’t blame the woman for everything. It was surely the man’s fault as well. Adam is soft, does not step up to his role. Instead of using his head as a guide, he follows his heart. He fails as a man and as a family head. Sadly, this history is repeated down to our day.
If you already fight, or you want to begin your fight, your punches must be aimed in the right direction. You must have a strategy. If the fight is doomed to failure, then it’s better not to begin at all — the resulting damage may be too painful.
“The way you chose won’t lead you to your desired destination,” I told her.
“Why?” Megan was unhappy with my response.
“Because it’s contrary to the way you’re constructed.”
Each creation in the universe was designed by God for a specified role. I generally described Adam’s role in my first article. He had to extend the boundaries of paradise and become a leader. However, the role of Eve was different. God created her as a complement to the man. Unfortunately, some people add some negative tones to the word complement, but that’s a totally wrong practice. You have to complete something that is incomplete. In some way that was the case of the first man without a woman. Eve completes a man, because, just as Adam, she’s created in God’s image, but she possessed different divine qualities. Adam should be a warrior, a symbol of stability and decision making. On the other hand, Eve reflects God’s mildness and sensitivity. As a result, a woman stirs a man intellectually. When they both cooperate, then they become a fine — still imperfect — image of God’s qualities. Harmony follows. He makes decisions, sometimes is too impetuous, but that’s why he has her — she becomes a balance to his wild side.
I hope you can clearly discern the role of each of them. Though Eve is not a housewife, she’s not a leader either. She’s a partner working by his side. They become one body.
![](https://sp-ao.shortpixel.ai/client/to_webp,q_glossy,ret_img,w_768,h_513/https://pdulski.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/nieszczesliwa-para-768x513.jpg)
If you understand that correctly, then you also notice what takes place in this world. A woman, playing the role of a man, made herself and a man unhappy. A present-day man, especially in the well-developed countries, has little in common with what God had purposed. He ceased to discover, to lead his family, became soft and withdrawn. The majority of men are henpecked by their wives, and all their duty is to put some cash on the table. Now look at the woman. Where did her fight for independence lead her? Did she become really free? Did she become happier? It’s true that a woman can do much more than in the past, but so what? As a result, instead of supporting her husband, she must make decisions that involves responsibility and consequences. She works in corporation, and after coming home she has to deal with washing, cleaning, and children. I’m not sure if you can call it a perfect happiness.
Isn’t it better to cooperate rather than to fight? All the more so knowing that this fight is doomed to failure because it opposes the Constructor of our personalities. The truth is we can’t change the system. However, we can change the life of our family. We don’t have to follow the crowd. Sometimes I hear wives say: “My old man is not the person I met,” or another says: “My old man only sits in front of the TV and stares at it all day.” If you think this way or you notice it, try to meditate on what happened to cause ‘your old man’ to become withdrawn. Is it possible that you caused him to behave that way. Perhaps you might have wanted to become independent? But are you happy? Wouldn’t you feel better being adored by him, inspired by him, discovering uncharted territory by his side?
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