MEDITATION ON...

Paul Dulski
27/11/23 11:47:59

Life in a bubble

świetlne bańki na tle gór

Our life is like a bubble shaped by the environment and upbringing in the family home. As we grow up, our bubble expands and takes shape. At first it is chaotic, we are looking for our vision of the world, but over time it becomes more shapely. Then we start arranging it. We spend hours, years, on this, until we finally realize that time is passing and we are still in the phase of furnishing, organizing, arranging and then... the bubble bursts - that's it; There's nothing left.

THE BUBBLE WE LIVE IN

What does your bubble look like? Is it a reflection of your vision of the world, or perhaps the commercial one that has been instilled in us for generations by the world of media. Many people want to lead a so-called "normal" life. Have a house, a family, two cars, a lot of money and a vacation on a paradise beach at least once a year. This is their bubble. So they struggle to arrange everything for this dream, but often unattainable world, in which the lack of one factor causes the bubble to distort and deprive them of their imaginary happiness. And again, the pursuit of this "happiness" causes other types of problems, such as stress, neuroses, breakdowns and depressions. It creates irrational beliefs - catastrophic, useless and harmful. 

  • I'm already 35 years old and I don't have a partner - it's a disaster!
  • If I get fired now, I won't find another one anywhere!
  • Without this vacation, all my hard work is in vain!

THE BUBBLE CREATES 'MUSTS'

The bubble is our imagination, and imagination has no limits, so does your catastrophic vision - a catastrophic vision without limits. We think that if we don't live up to the expectations set by the world or ourselves, something terrible will happen. So we behave like a little hysterical child who wants a lollipop in the supermarket. We want to get what we want at all costs. 

And this is the key word: desires. They cause forces, and forces cause irrational beliefs, which make us no longer stable and balanced in life, and become neurotic and fearful. We become a "disappointed dreamer." We believe that life should have certain features (no traffic jams, no taxes, no parking problems), and when this vision is not fulfilled, we become furious. We start to suffer from "demand disease" - the belief that I have to do this or that to be happy. 

Most of the people suffering from "demanding disease" claims:

  • I need to have someone with me who loves me.
  • I need to become somebody. 
  • Everyone must treat me fairly and respectfully.
  • I must have my own house.
  • Good health is a must to feel happy.
  • I must help my relatives, parents, grandparents, children... 
  • If my partner leaves me, it means the end of the world.
  • I must have exciting life.
  • MORE always means BETTER.
  • Loneliness is awful, terrifying.

The list can go on and on, and we will go out of our minds trying to keep our bubble in a certain shape. Why? Because all of these statements are irrational beliefs that cause mental health disorders or irrational fear. So why do we cling to them so tightly? Because they have been with us since childhood, instilled by our parents and later by the world of media. Think about it: does this world care about you being emotionally stable and healthy? The answer suggests itself. So what do we need to do?

LEAVE YOUR BUBBLE — EXCHANGE 'MUSTS' INTO BELIEFS 

Leaving something we have lived in for so many years is a very long and labor-intensive process, but well worth it. When we leave the bubble, we see a new world; a new horizon is revealed, something we have never seen before. We begin to become fascinated with the world and its possibilities again, calmly and without previous problems. And although sometimes we fall back into our bubble, we now know how to leave it and keep our feet on the ground; live in the real world. 

The first thing we need to realize is the difference between a DESIRE a and a NEED. 

And here's the key 🔑– if you don't understand this, you will never leave your bubble. In fact, as human beings we only have three needs: drinking, eating and protection from the dangers (See also article Trzy filary szczęścia!) END!!! And if so, in most cases we have everything necessary to be happy. 

Of course, this does not mean that we cannot desire. Desires are natural. The problem is when desires start to create imaginary needs and we lose control. And these invented needs re-create our bubble. 

How then can we exchange our 'musts' into beliefs? 

We must understand and realize that life and other people are not there to fulfill our desires. We stop demanding and replace it with rational, possible and probable beliefs: 

  • It would be great if I had someone who loved me by my side. But I don't need it to be happy. I can still implement many of my plans.
  • It would be nice if my book sold well, but even without that I can be satisfied with writing it.
  • It would be great if everyone treated me well, but I can live without it.
  • It would be great to have your own home, a base to which you can always return. But now it's also good, I'm not bound to any place.
  • Good health is goodness, but being sick, I could devote myself to passions that I would not pursue under normal conditions.

And so on… I think you understand the pattern of new thinking. Not a MUST now, but a BELIEF. And belief does not generate a whole range of chemical changes in our body, causing extreme emotions such as anger, depression, anxiety, blaming others.

LIFE OUTSIDE THE BUBBLE BRINGS JOY

And the world becomes more beautiful because we don't have to anymore. We allow for various situations, and when they happen, they have no major impact on us. We think to ourselves: this guy treated me badly, I didn't feel comfortable with it. But so what? He didn't do anything to me, it doesn't change anything in my life. In fact, he is a boor and one day it will backfire on him. And life immediately becomes easier. 

We simply harmonize with the environment, we do not try to create it according to our imagination. The world is what it is, we can't change it, and certainly not for ourselves. How much better is it to accept the situation and take joy in what is good around us. We have so many gifts. It is not worth focusing on arranging a bubble and controlling it. This is a road to nowhere, and it will break sooner or later. It's better to participate in real life, feel its tangible touch, taste and smell!

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Tags

depresja Fear Motivation psychologiapoznawcza Sekret Attitude

Comments

  • Danuta

    Ciekawe myśli. Faktycznie każdy z nas ma jakieś wyobrażenie o swoim życiu. I co bardzo ciekawe chciałoby się wszystko podporządkować pod siebie. Bardzo podoba mi się myśl: żeby nie brać do siebie gdy ktoś mnie urazi lub źle się odniesie.- tylko jest problemem by NIE BRAC TEGO DO SIEBIE-jest to trudne do wprowadzenia w życie. 😊 Fajnie się czytało, pozdrawiam autora. 🤗

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