Stop complaining...part III

Paul Dulski
02/09/20 00:00:44

...appreciate

I’m too nervous.” Marta sighed.

“What makes you nervous?” I asked.

“Everything!” she said, glaring at me as if to say: ‘Don’t be stupid.’

“Everything?”

“Ugh. I arrive at the supermarket, there are no parking spaces, I do my shopping, people jostle, and I must stand in the queue for hours!” she said with reproach.

Have you ever wondered what comfort made us? Why are we so snobbish, so pretentious, so unhappy? I blame living in luxury, prosperity, and affluence. Note that the people who lived through the war are far less likely to have these feelings.

Obviously, we need some rest and comfort. However, we shouldn’t overdo it, because it may have a negative impact on us: we’ll become selfish.

Most of us can’t recall the times when there was nothing on the store shelves except for vinegar and mustard. In order to buy something to eat, people had to stand in long lines for hours, hoping that the needed product won’t run out. We’re not familiar with the days when people rushed with every earned penny to buy new shoes, but there was none their size. What could they do? They had to buy a smaller size.

Nevertheless, people were different. Why? They appreciated everything they had. Even the smallest thing was like a big treasure for them.
Therefore, examine yourself: ‘What really irritates you? Why do you become annoyed with this particular thing?’

“Do you know what can help you with that?” I asked Martha.

“I have no clue.”

“Try some experience.”

“What kind of experience again?”

“I call it counterposing.”

“What is it?” Martha persisted.

“I mean look at your life from a different perspective. By means of this, you’ll appreciate the things that annoy you right now.”

“That’s impossible,” she claimed.

“Try it, please. Think about the things that irritate you. You said that no parking spot, people elbowing in the store, and long queues. Are they really so bad? They might be for you. This is how you set your parameters, but you can change it. Try to look at them from another perspective. Look at this picture, please. This is “a supermarket” where I used to buy groceries for several months.

“Oh, come on. How could you do that?” she said, twisting her face.

“Well, people around the world do their shopping that way. What do you think, would they complain if they had to shop at your supermarket? Would they complain if they had to stand a few minutes in the queue, or to find the spot in the car park?”

“I guess not, but it’s their world, not mine!” She raised her voice.

“No! It’s our world, and people just like us. Do you understand? When you realize the conditions people live in and problems they face, then you imagine being in their shoes, and you finally begin to appreciate the life you have. You can’t change the queues, but you can change the way you spend your time standing in that queue. Think about the difficulties people face, and your parameters will change. You’ll think: ‘Thank You, God, for everything that I have.” This is appreciation. Appreciation helps you regain your joy, and it helps you notice how lucky you are.”

“But it’s not so easy,” she said.

“That’s right, we have to work on it. In the situations when we can’t stay calm, we should stop and think: ‘Why am I getting angry?’ Then counterpose it with: ‘If I were in a country where people have only rice to eat, and it’s not easy to get it, how would I feel?’ Then you begin to understand that you’re exaggerating, and you say: ‘How happy I am to be there.’ You replace negative emotions with gratitude.
So many people today are focused on what they would want to buy or do, instead of thinking about what they already have. This wrong perspective makes them feel unhappy, and they often fall into depression. That’s sad. Each one of us has enormous potential that we shouldn’t hide, nor neglect. Sometimes we need to discover it. It’s often not easy, but it’s always possible if we really want it. Then we have to find people who will appreciate it. This is the process, this is the road, but it’s possible to pass.

You have two eyes, two arms, two legs, so you have everything to be happy. And there comes counterposing again. What if I don’t have them? Can I still be happy?
I believe you’ll find the answer by watching the story of Nick Vujicic.

 

Tags

Attitude nervous

Comments

  • James

    True, we’re too selfish these days. Really timely article. I’m waiting for more 🙂

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