MEDITATION ON...

Paul Dulski
10/01/24 01:15:30

Horrible Trauma

Postać mężczyzny z maczetą w ręku

Most days in our lives are ordinary, routine, we repeat the same patterns, but there are also extraordinary, unusual days that change our perspective.

Most often we see about it in movies or in news journals. We know it exists, we understand that it is common around us, but it seems distant, that it will not touch us, will not happen to us, because it happens to others, but not to us... until that day comes...

25th DECEMBER 2023

This day started like any other: cleaning the house, doing laundry and then relaxing on the beach - this is the Monday routine. Most people have Sundays off, but me, my roommate and a few of our friends tend to have Mondays off. The beach is also nothing special when you live by the ocean and is one of the few places in the small African country where you can take a break from the hardships of everyday life.

However, things did not go well from the beginning. In the morning we received information about the death of one of our friends. The 45-year-old left his wife and daughter. He fought with pneumonia for two weeks. We had a hospital visit scheduled for Tuesday - we missed it, and three weeks earlier we had seen him perfectly healthy. So the mood was gloomy.

JOURNEY

We arrived at the beach in the afternoon around 2 p.m. It's close by car - about 20 minutes from home. We park the motorbike at one of the bars and then walk to another local bar, where we can lie down on deckchairs. It's about a 15 minute walk. Taking steps for health and fitness is very important. Moreover, walking on the sand on the beach and cooling your feet in the cool water of the Atlantic combined with breathing in the fresh ocean breeze is pure pleasure.

PROLONGED EXPECTATION

We finally get there. One of our local friends is already waiting there and we are waiting for our Polish friends to come. However, they are not coming for a long time and the hours slowly pass. We're starting to get impatient  and we decide to head home when we get a call that they are on their way. More minutes pass, it's already around 6 p.m. - not too late, but here in Gambia, sunset is around 7 p.m.

I ask my friend to inform our friends that we are on our way and we won't wait any longer, but they say that they are almost there. We're staying. We are talking about our friend, the one who lost her husband, they just came back from her. As we expected, there were a lot of people there, so we decided to visit her in a few days, when there would be fewer visitors and the first emotions would subside. We listen to their accounts of indescribable crying and grief. Not only the loss of my husband - a friend, but also the guardian of the house. Here in Africa there is no financial support from the state, everyone relies on themselves and others. It is very difficult for a woman to support herself. We feel pain in our hearts.

TIME TO GO HOME

Around 8 p.m., a friendly couple returns home on their motorcycle parked at the bar, and we return to the motorcycle parked a kilometer away. It's only a few minutes of good walking. Another local friend is coming with us. The moon is shining bright, it is full. The ocean calmly counts one wave after another, the tide is ending, but we can still walk on flat sand, so we have a good pace. It's not the first time we're walking down this road after dusk, we feel relatively normal and safe, everyone says that Gambia is one of the safest, tourist-friendly places, but potentially to every local we look like tourists. We're talking. I walk in front alone for a while. Meanwhile, a boy runs up to my friends. He's not tall, he looks normal. He greets them and asks how they are. After a while he overtakes them. He joins me in the same way, greets me and asks where we are going. I don't suspect anything. It's normal here, everyone talks to everyone else, that's the culture. It would be strange if he didn't talk to us. He's ahead of me. He is wearing long black pants and a black leather jacket, and has short dreadlocks on his head. I'm joining my friends.

THE ATTACK

Our stranger looks around, and Kuba, my friend, says: "He probably joined us because he is afraid of the dark" (there is such an opinion about Africans).  At this point, the attacker turns around and pulls out a machete from under his jacket. He starts waving it and shouting at us to give up everything we have or we will die. Stress causes an adrenaline rush, cognitive abilities drop to zero, and panic begins. I remember scenes from the story of the Rwandan genocide, where two warring tribes slaughtered each other with machetes. I read a lot about it, there are also films about it and I wrote about it in my book. I calculate the risk. What to do, how to behave and I ask myself if he is just scaring me or if he is really ready to use this machete. If he uses it, what will be the consequences, where will it hit me, if it cuts my skin, how much, how deep. I try to talk to him, but Kuba distracts him by saying that he will give him money. She jumps up to him. She nervously searches his backpack, some things fall out, she takes money and his phone. I take out my wallet, I want to give him money, but he snatches it from my hands. I'm asking him to let me take the documents, just the documents. Do not agree. I want a backpack. I don't want to give it to him. Not only is there a telephone, but also our house keys, motorbike keys, and motorbike documents. I'm trying to stall. He's furious, his hands are shaking, he knows that this is all taking too long, that someone might pass by soon. He swings and hits my shoulder with all his strength. I bend under the impact. I look at my arm out of the corner of my eye, expecting blood, but it's not there. The machete is blunt. He grabs his backpack and runs away. I get up and run after him, screaming with all my strength: HELP!!! HELP!!! But he's getting further and further away. Taking his phone, he drops his bag. He runs away, disappears into the darkness.

PANIC

We reach the motorbike - only five minutes left. Nothing is happening to our friend. She hasn't lost anything, so she lends us one of her phones. There is nothing in the account.  A policeman is standing by the expressway. He has a motorbike. We describe to him what happened. However, he is not very bright and asks strange questions such as: What were you selling on the beach? And why were you lying on the sunbeds? It's not good to walk in the dark. Yes, we know that now, but could you please help us. This seems like some sort of madness. He says he can't help and he's watching some TikTok.

We managed to inform our married couple of friends about the incident and they recharged our phone. We try to lock and track our iPhones. We log in, but two-step verification is required. There's nothing we can do. We decide to go home and block them from our other devices and report the matter to the police.

AT THE POLICE STATION

Seven policemen are sitting there doing absolutely nothing. Finally, someone is interested in us, we give our testimony. During this time, our iPhones appear on the map. There is a fascination with iPhones moving on the map in tablets. They are five minutes away by car. We ask the policemen to come with us. They tell us that they must first write down a protocol. Later, they don't have a car and we have to take a taxi, we agree on a price and we go. About an hour and a half has passed. iPhones have been turned off for an hour - they do not provide the current location. Several families, about 20 people, live in the house in question. No chance of finding it. A satellite image shows iPhones in this exact house. There is a dot on the roof and the policeman comes up with a brilliant idea that someone probably hid them there. My hands drop. We give up.

We see the phones the next day, they are on the so-called black market, we try to find them, but it seems impossible in a sea of people. The signal disappears…

THE TRAUMA REMAINS

The safety bubble has burst, everything causes fear. The adrenaline lasts for several more days. Problems with sleeping. Continuous analysis. Denial - nothing happened. We are alive, we are safe - that's the most important thing. Pity: why did we come back in the dark when we were supposed to meet earlier. Or maybe we could have defended ourselves. Push back the attack. Millions of thoughts, emotional loneliness, insomnia, fatigue. A bruise spread on half of the arm and the worst - an emotional wound. Trying to blame others: why did they arrive so late, why didn't we go straight away, why didn't Kuba chase him with me, etc... Reconciliation, emotions subside and rational thinking kicks in. Practical analysis of what to do for the future.

CONCLUSION

Life teaches and makes wiser those who learn from what happens in their lives.

I would like to share a few thoughts with you, because I think such a story can happen anywhere, regardless of where we live. And many of us go on vacation and it's better to be cautious.

A few suggestions:

     1. Avoid  going out after dark.

 Especially in isolated places. There were always a lot of people passing along the road we walked, even in the evenings. Maybe we didn't take into account the date, December 25, that most people would be with their families in their homes, even though The Gambia is a Muslim country.

     2. Take only as much money as you need for current needs and shopping. 

Even if you have to give something back, it won't hurt you that much. Some people, for example, take two wallets with them, one fake wallet, kept on top with a symbolic amount of cash, and the other hidden, for example, in an internal safe pocket. During the trip itself, it is also a good idea to put money in your pants pocket and sew the pocket closed. 

     3. Agree with your partner what to do in the event of an attack.

 Maybe it would be wise for one of you to run away. It depends on the situation, but when there is one striker it may be wise.

     4. It is better to give everything than to fall into a fight and die. 

Remember, those are just things.

     5. Carry photocopies of documents with you. 

Keep your passport, payment cards, etc. items in a safe if you are staying at a hotel. Don't spare money for a safe.

     6. Use local guides.

Obtain necessary knowledge:

  • After an attack, try to control your panic. For example, iPhone can be blocked from any phone, even Android. Once you're signed in to iCloud via your browser, scroll down - there's an option to skip two-step verification if your device has been stolen. You'll only get access to "Find My iPhone."
  • If you have a newer iPhone, make sure you have tracking turned on even when your phone is turned off. You can find a video on YT on how to set it up.
  • If you have Android, turn on Google tracking, this way you can track your phone.
  • Buy a mini safe-bag with a code in which you will carry your phone. If you give it to the thief, you will gain additional time before he gets inside and turns off the phone (An example link can be found here: safebag). 
  • If you are on holiday, keep your SIM card somewhere else. Once there, use the local operator's card (In The Gambia: Aficell, Qcell, you will receive a SIM card for free at the airport).
  • Use less valuable equipment, especially when going somewhere after dusk or walking among crowds.
  • If you are in a third world country and you have friends there, ask them for help first, then go to the police, you may get better results.
  • Remember, the less stuff you have with you, the better.
  • Some things may seem obvious, but they are worth remembering.
  • I hope my story will be a warning to others and help them be more vigilant.

Best regards and take care of yourself!

Do you have any proven ways to protect yourself or make your trip or vacation safer? 

Share in the comments, your knowledge may help someone!!!

The situation that happened to us made it much more difficult for us to implement our intended projects. If you would like to support us, below is the description of the fundraiser.  

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Tags

safejourney Gambia Fear Attack Help Dread Trauma

Comments

  • Agata

    Hej, osobiście mam etui na dokumenty+kartę a pieniądze trzymam w portfelu. Jak mam przy sobie więcej gotówki, to większość trzymam w etui a sumę potrzebną na zakupy mam w portfelu. Nigdy osobiście mnie nie okradziono ani nie pobito. Współczuję bardzo.

  • Noemi

    Ja przerzuciłam się z noszenia torebek na plecaki. Na początku było to trudne, bo plecak jest mniej elegancki, ale czuję się tak bezpieczniej. Mam w nim dwie ukryte przegrody, w których trzymam dokumenty i kartę czy „większe” pieniądze jeśli takie potrzebuję przenieść. Ogólnie staram się nie nosić zbyt wartościowych rzeczy, a na podróże chowam rzeczy w różne miejsca. Nie zabieram portfela. Jeśli stracę plecak tracę wszystko. A jeśli np. Dokumenty schowam w ukrytej kieszeni bluzy to chociaż one zostaną. Podróżując zazwyczaj rozdzielam sprzęty i wartościowe rzeczy na walizkę, plecak i kieszenie osobiste. Raczej nikt mi walizki, plecaka i bluzy nie ukradnie, więc coś zawsze ze mną zostanie w razie awaryjnej sytuacji. Podróżując do krajów trzeciego świata ja rzeczy typu dokumenty, karta, klucze, telefon trzymam raczej w ubraniach niż plecaku, bo mnie prawdopodobne jest, że ktoś przeszuka mi ubranie. W plecaku powinien być udawany portfel z małą ilością pieniędzy, bez jakichkolwiek kart czy dokumentów.
    Bardzo współczuję tego przeżycia i życzę szybkiego powrotu to stabilności emocjonalnej 🫶🏼

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