Adam's Hardships[II]

Fear is the opposite of courage. It can be strongly disruptive to a man and his will to act. It suppresses his progress and is often a cause of interpersonal conflicts. Definitely, fear is a negative quality. On the home page of my website you can read: Fight your fear! But that’s just a slogan; some kind of simplification. In fact we can’t fight or defeat fear. It is a figment of imagination about something, based on something… It may be something from our past, our childhood. A type of trauma or words instilled in us by our parents. I have a friend who’s overly scared of flying. Though he’s in mid-thirties and has his own family, he still hears his mother’s warnings in his head causing him to feel fear.
Since we can’t fight our fear, what shall we do? We can get used to it. Basically, this means that this fear will stay within us, but we will be able to control it. It can disturb us, but it mustn’t limit us. Think about people with failing sight. They must get used to glasses, but soon they forget that they wear them.
Fear is rooted deeply inside. Everyone, both men and women, have our own fears and anxieties. Today we’re going to talk about man’s fear. Man’s fear is something particular because a man indeed should be known by his courage and will to act. God gave him the responsibility to take care of the Earth and his family. Thus a man has to face uneasy challenges.
Unfortunately he failed as a head of his wife, but also as a father from the beginning. Think about his son — Cain. He commits homicide, killing his younger brother — Abel. Where is Adam? He’s not at the place where he should be. We know nothing about that. What we know is that God speaks to Cain warning him, and then holding him responsible for what he had done.
We see clearly that Adam failed. He’s not present in the life of his son. He neither train him nor guide him. He’s not his mentor. Adam is scared. Fatherhood defeated him. He doesn’t fight against his fear and fails miserably. He’s weak and far from the model God wanted him to become.
We grow up in this mess and it’s getting worse with each subsequent generation. That’s the reason why we don’t see too many brave, courageous men in our society these days. Most of us are cowards, mommy’s boys lacking acts of bravery. We’re not born with courage, we need to learn it. It was a bit easier back in the day. Hard work formed not only muscles, but also a character. That’s how courage is born. Deliberate action aimed at fear. There’s no other way. We need to prove ourselves that we can do that! We need to develop the trust in our abilities. Let’s say you’re scared of heights. The only way to fight this fear are HEIGHTS. You climb the mountain, your knees are like jelly, you suffer from vertigo, then you crouch, try to calm down, take another step, and another, and you see that it wasn’t that scary. You tame your fear and it slowly disappears. You control it. It’s quite similar in any other field. If you’re scared of starting conversations then you have to force yourself to say something first, then it will become easier and easier.
But mommy’s boys struggle even harder because their whole life is one big fear. Why? Because they were deprived of models of masculinity. And no wonder because their fathers screwed up. They were often deprived of masculinity also. Their family life limits boosting a bank account. And in the evening there are only left with remote control, beer, and a growing belly. So what can I expect from a young man having such a model at home? His mother becomes his guide. The best, the most wonderful mother will never replace a father. Why? Because she’s a woman. A woman can’t give you man’s traits because she’s not a man. That’s how it is. She will always be opposite to a man. Generally speaking, the women are more cautious, caring, and foresighted. Contrary to a man. That’s why your father should say: “Have fun!”, and your mother: “Zip your coat or you’ll get sick!” A man would say: “Text me when you’ll get there,” and a woman: “Be careful, I’d like you to stay home”. Goodness is in her nature.
A man though had to be brave, risk-taking, combative, crossing barriers. When you look at God, you see the image of a warrior. As a loving father He fights for his oppressed nation. When the Lord Jesus sees how people make a market out of the temple, he does not lower his tone, as though afraid of being heard, saying: “Excuse me, I’m sorry to interrupt you, and that I actually say anything, but could you please, in your good will, stop selling all these things here? Pardon me.” No! He makes a whip out of a cord, knocks the tables, and shouts: “No one will make a cave of robbers in the house of my Father!” That’s the way a man should be. Brave, taking action, not afraid of speak out.
A boy should learn how to be a man in his house. He grapples with his father, just for fun, but that’s a test for him: how strong he is and how much he can handle. A real father is a master of creating challenges for his son. He is not like: “Here son, take this computer, have fun,” but rather shows him how to live, raise him in the power of will, to not give up. If a child learns how to ride a bike and he falls off, a mum would say: “Oh my! We must dress the wound!”, but a father would say: “Nothing happened. Get up and try again.” These little things transfer to big issues in adult life. Such a man won’t be hysterical on every occasion, but says: “That’s nothing!” gets up and moves forward.