Highly Sensitive People
He was surrounded by big crowd of people, they were beating against him just as the troubled sea beats against a boat. However, he felt not as much alone as lonely. To be surrounded by people, and still feel lonely — this is the tragedy of a human. Nowadays many people are in solitude, but solitude is not the same as loneliness. This is the core of the problem. To be at someone’s side, and still feel completely lonely.
Most of the people need just that someone. They want a person next to them, a companion, someone to talk to, cook for (I wrote more about it in this article Meditation on... solitude!) Most of the people need just someone. They want someone at their side, someone to talk to, someone to cook for. They are scared of being alone. They want others to pay attention to them. They do this in various ways. They try everything to be noticed. I guess the most popular way is the world of social media. They post a picture on Instagram or many statuses on WhatsApp in order to gain others’ attention and waste their time — what will they write, who will write, how will he write, and so forth. Vanity and waste of time. Essentially only people without real hobbies and with short mental horizons do such things. On the other hand, others, looking for sensation — meaning they are also bored with their life — scroll over this mass of needless information, commenting, and consequently feeding those posting. Why do they do that? I do not really understand. Perhaps there is a need of attention, showboating, and pushing others to jealousy.
Looking at the world from highly sensitive people's perspective
You may think: “He wrote that because he’s jealous. He can’t stand the fact that others are doing well, that have more money, and that they spent their holiday on the tropical island.” Far from it. Highly sensitive people do not care about such things. They have other problems on their minds, another matters to think of, to rethink, and to do. They focus on important things, deep ones, the things that have real impact on their life. They do not pay attention to someone’s private life, to useless info, to superficiality, or sensation. They are not jealous because there is nothing to be jealous of. Others’ happiness — though real or not, cropped and retouched on a photo — is their happiness. When they hear that someone is doing good — they are happy with him, when others suffer — they suffer with him.
I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It’s not. The worst thing in life is ending up with people who make you feel all alone.
The problem of highly sensitive people is that they are not understood in society. They seem to be weirdos, snobs, bears. And this is the real problem of these people — not solitude itself, but LONELINESS OF THOUGHTS!
There is not too many people who can understand them, the people they can share their deep and for long time hidden thoughts about life, existence, and world changes. Their life is full of suffering and disappointment because when they try to explain their feelings, they face indifference, apathy, and ridicules. They co-exist with people, but they are alienated, and it is the worst for them.
Do not confuse them with...
Highly sensitive people are not depressive, touchy, or crying type of a person. Contrarily, they are extremely aware and they have rules. Do they believe they are better than other human beings? It depends on what do we understand by being better. They do not consider themselves as more clever, better, or smarter. Far from it! They are modest, humble, but they know their value. Above all their mental intelligence is well-developed what makes them better in that field. Simply, everyone has a gift: one learns languages very fast, another can calculate difficult formulas, but they can judge and discern human nature. Virtually they can instantly identify someone’s psychological profile. They can recognize someone who wants to manipulate them, who is not sincere, someone who wants to take advantage of them, or is a psychopath.
Therefore highly sensitive people often choose to live in solitude. They limit their interpersonal contacts, they are selective when it comes to spend time with other people because it is easy to hurt them. Besides they are quickly getting bored with mundane subjects such as the food, the weather, buying and selling. They are interested in more important things like human nature, big projects, lofty ideas. They love to dream and to talk about these dreams.
How to recognize a highly sensitive person?
Highly sensitive people are loyal. They get quickly attached to other people and are not satisfied with just a superficial relationship. They value something deeper, permanent, they look for long-time friends. They treat their responsibilities with all due seriousness. No matter what it is — cleaning or office work — they are engaged in 110%. They are good workers, feeling the mission. They do not like to laze about. They believe that if they are to do something, they must do this correctly, professionally, or do not touch it at all. And here lies thin border, because they believe they should be well rewarded for their efforts. That does not mean they are focused on money, but they may just need to be commended or to hear “Thank You!” In turn, when they hear bad comments about their hard work or feel that someone wants to take advantage of them — thinking that they are naive, not smart enough — something burst within them and they become rebellious. This rebel can appear as an outburst of anger, and then you are going to find out what is the problem, and they will not hesitate to leave their workplace or meaningless friendships.
How do people view highly sensitive people?
Therefore, some people love them, appreciate their values, their rich personality, and possibility to discuss important subjects. On the other hand, other people may hate them, may be jealous of their sincerity, elegance, feel in danger and emotionally naked.
The biggest conflict lies in the fact that highly sensitive people do not want to live according to society’s standards, and the society does not want to experience the richness of highly sensitive people’s life.